It has always been difficult for me connecting with people. I’m positive that it is because of my nature and nurture. Nature meaning my genetic material and nurture meaning how I was brought up and the environment where I grew up. Growing up, I used to be so uptight even as a small child. I wanted everything in order and I didn’t usually use gifts out of fear that I will break or wear it out. I also used to plan everthing down to its smallest detail but as I grow older I realized that you can never really plan anything at all. There will always be circumstances that will hinder or delay your plans. Going with the flow is the best solution if you want to avoid so much disappointments. As a young child I also realized that promises will always be broken. Hope for the best but never expect, it’ll just bring you endless heartaches and lost of trust to your loved ones. Next, people will come and go. They will leave a mark; either a cross, a thumbs up or heart. I don’t believe in best friends; I guess that was my first heartache. When whom I thought was my best friend turned out to have a best friend of her own. Petty right? But let me remind you, I was uptight, I think borderline OCD. I will never forget that experience. Although I do call someone or some people my best friends, yet I cannot or will never open up everything to them. I guess the fear of judgement, rejection or ridicule is on my mind but it always goes back to my 3rd grade scenario. So I just cherish the people that is in my life at the moment because I will never know for sure when they will be jusy an acquaintance again. Whenever I talk to people I always end up agreeing with them not because I do but because I know that it’s what they want to hear, but sometimes deep down I can enumerate a thousand of things that I want to say to them, still I shut up. I feel like a loser most of the time but I know myself better that to flood my emotions, I am me, and there’s no one who knows me but me, no matter how difficult it is to understand.